Now for some more personal history. When I was 16, I bought my first bottle for myself. It was a nerve wracking experience, going to the baby section of a department store, for perhaps the first time ever. I felt horribly humiliated, because what was a teenager doing in that section? Everyone m must have known that I was an infantilist. Imagine how I felt when the sales lady asked if she could help me. I found a bottle, and got the hell out of there. Part of me wanted to stay there, and marvel in the row upon row of pacifiers, bottles, feeding spoons, bibs and everything.
Imagine how I felt when upon getting home, there was no cap for the nipple, and I had effectively purchased a defective bottle! So back I go, only to return the bottle, and get a new one, feeling extremely sheepish indeed.
Bottle Types

Standard Bottles
In case you don't remember what they look like, the standard bottle is pictured at the top right. This is almost the iconic image of a baby bottle. It certainly is for me, as this is quite likely the kind of babybottle I had when growing up. These classic bottles make me feel a special kind of funny inside. Unlike some of the other cooler/weirder bottles, where my trigger is in the weirdness of the bottle, the trigger is deeply keyed to my own personal childhood, rather then an abstract notion of babyhood in general.These classic bottles have a problem: because as more liquid is drawn out through the nipple, a vacuum is created. After a little while, air rushes in through the nipple, and through the liquid inside of it, giving the baby gas in the process.
Playtex Nursers

I was personally exposed to these bottles later on in my childhood which makes for an interesting set of associations. Rather then a very deep seated babyish feeling that a typical bottle would give me, the Playtex nurser has a more "refined" babyish feeling associated with it. Even as an 6 to 12 yearold I would see these bottles, and feel a strong need to suck on them, without (yet) having any personal experiences with them. This is mostly due to the fact that when I was growing up, they were the most common bottle to give a baby. As such, I developed a very "babyish" association with them.
Vented Bottles

I don't actually have much else to say about these bottles except "They're easy to drink from.". They don't make me feel as swoony and funny inside, and they typically don't have any cute babyish designs on them to increase their "babyishness".
Pacifeeder

It's hard to adequately describe the feeling I got when I first tried it out. In terms of basic mechanics, this is the same basic thing as any normal bottle, but there was something very...different...about sucking, and watching the liquid climb up the tubing and then enter the nipple before finally tasting it. The first time that it was upended, and the liquid was forced down the tube and into the nipple was an even stronger, more powerful experience. But I am getting ahead of myself, more on that later.
Baby Food Feeder

I have to buy one of these every time I see one. Not only are they rare, but the nipples they come with have bigger holes to allow the food to go through. These larger-holed nipples can be used on other bottles as well, making them easier to drink out of. I agonized for months before buying my first one. I look back to that day and wonder why I thought it was such a big deal, but it was. These things were just so weird, and I felt so weird buying it.
Now, being fed from it is also a weird, and intense experience. The babyishness of babyfood, combines with the nipple-based-feeding to form a practically transcendent experience.
Notes On Nipples


Finally, even the material that is used has changed. Now nipples can be made out of silicone. Usually that means clear nipples, but even coloured ones are available. I haven't seen them recently, which is sad because I really wanted some (especially pink).
That Crazy Feeling...
Now in this little tour of bottles, I talk about how they can make me feel funny inside. They really do. It is tough to describe the feeling I get when seeing a baby bottle. But there is an indescribable sensation that happens when one comes in my field of view. I really have a hard time not staring at a bottle. This can be a little awkward at times.Unless you are already an infantilist, it is probably difficult to even conceive of a baby bottle being remotely erotic. But I'll try to describe what I see in them, and why they are such a big trigger for me.
First off, the act of being fed a baby bottle is a very strongly sensual, bonding and loving experience. One of the things that I sometimes hear is that fetishists cannot have proper relationships because they don't express love like everyone else. Well this is a load of crap, and I think that a bottle feeding can bring two people as close together (if not closer together) then making love. A bottle feeding has the same atavistic, deeply genetic nature of sexual reproduction, but added to that is a slower, softer and more caring side to it as well. The sensuality of being cuddled up and held by someone you love, drinking a warm bottle of milk, staring up into their eyes as they stroke your hair is mind-boggling.
Bottles carry some raw eroticism, at least for me. To some degree or another they are meant to simulate a very erotic and erogenous zone of the body: the nipple. This can actually be played with, teasing the bottle nipple in and out of the mouth, or even toying with other parts of the body.
Drinking out of a bottle can be a humiliating experience as well. It is such a regression, a complete lapse into babyishness. Drinking out of a pink baby bottle is even more so. It makes one feel so helpless, so girly and so small. It is perhaps because of this feeling of vulnerability that make the sensual experience so powerful.
And finally, there is in fact a potential BDSM component, I even alluded to it earlier. Bottles can be used to force someone to drink something. Is it going to be that yucky fruit juice you don't like? Over concentrated baby formula? Or a babyfood feeder full of strained peas? The babyfood feeder and Playtex nurser both make excellent choices for force feeding, as you can squeeze the liquid (or food) out with very little effort, forcing it into (and out of) the nipple.
Describing the powerlessness of being fed something and given no choice but to consume it is difficult at best, but I'll try, with our friend the metaphor. Blindfolding someone is like visual bondage. Force feeding is like oral/flavor bondage. You don't get to choose what you taste, or when you taste it, your only choice is to drink it or suffocate. It's quite powerful.
I hope that my little exposition on baby bottles enlightened you a little. Maybe for those infantilists out there, it gives them some ideas to try out, or some new perspectives. For those that aren't, maybe it gives them an idea of where we are coming from, and an idea about what it is like. And hey, maybe you'll even try it!
If you have any questions or comments, feel free to post in the comments section!
6 comments:
Eee, this post is amazing! I didn't know about most of these.. I want them so badly. ;.;
Anyway, I'm whisperkit on the forums. Thanks for the informative post!
^.^
I know this post is old like stale bread, but:
Everyone m must have known that I was an infantilist.
LOL I doubt it. Most people have never heard of infantilists. They probably thought you were just a really young dad.
sleep: You're very right, but that is certainly how I felt at the time!
Wow, great article!
I wasn't sure if this was actually the same sissybecky who ran sissybecky.com (domain has expired btw) but this post leaves no doubt. Glad to see your back on the internet :)
I really miss sissybecky.com (though I do understand your reasons for letting it go). I always loved how you seemed more focused on the whole lifestyle rather than just the sex aspect (which describes the majority of other infantalism sites unfortunately). I think this was very true of your artwork (which I _also_ really miss. I know you didn't want people to save copies, which I didn't, but if I'd known they'd be going away for ever I admit I probably would have). It was a very nice change of pace to see something _not_ focusing on the sexual side of things.
Anyway, I'll stop babbling away on your blog now. Cheers!
Thanks for the kind comments!
I've changed my tune, now I release all my art under a Creative Commons license, and actually prefer that people download and distribute my art. I was so misguided back then. Right now you can download a few of my pieces of art at Sissykiss.com. Enjoy!
i have a passion fur baby bottles i love the classic style evenflo and Gerber ones and i use only large natural rubber nipples on them all. i have nearly 100 in all.other than wishing i could be turned back to infancy my second wish would be to become a plastic baby bottle. i would love Tobe a bottle . it goes with my plastic and rubber fetish, i sleep with a warm milk bottle every night and days i regress i will enjoy bottles all day long:)
Post a Comment